As we do every year on the Wednesday evening before Thanksgiving, my family gathers to watch the old classic “Planes, Trains, and Automobiles,” starring Steve Martin and John Candy. Just like we do every year, we all end up shouting ideas and suggestions at the characters, encouraging better choices. This movie came out in the late ‘80s, and it is stunning to realize today how many things have changed since then. Most notably, there have been changes in terms of technology, services, and travel. Just think if they’d had cellphones. Their lives would have been so much easier. 

My first grievance is the fact that the movie takes place two days before Thanksgiving, which should give Neal (Steve Martin) plenty of time to get home even if he rented a car and drove to Chicago from New York. Those who have made the drive (myself included) will tell you that it takes 12 hours. Once out of New York City, it’s an easy ride. 

Don’t get me started on the whole taxi-cab experience. It just reminds me what arrogant jerks NYC cab drivers were back then, when they were the only game in town. They deserved to get “Ubered” and “Lyfted,” as far as I’m concerned. Have you ever noticed that in the past 20 years, just about every industry and service organization that was a pain in the neck to work with has been wiped out by somebody who did it better? I love that. 

Obviously, our friend Neal is not much of a traveler since he booked a 24-hour round trip to NYC an entire month in advance, then paid for first class. It’s a 55-minute flight, for crying out loud! Then, there’s the size issue with Del’s (John Candy’s) giant trunk. Really, how much over-weight is that thing? That must cost him double the price of a plane ticket every time he flies. 

In the movie, of course, Chicago is snowed in. Chicago is always snowed in, so that’s very realistic. No complaints from me there except when my flight is diverted because of the snow in Chicago; then, I do complain my head off. 

They end up in Wichita once Neal, again, gets a car and drives home. If the airport is out of cars, he should take a cab to downtown Wichita and rent one there. From Wichita, it only takes 10 hours to drive to Chi-Town. Neal would be home to his three-million-dollar Kensington, Illinois, home on Wednesday before Thanksgiving. Are you getting frustrated yet? 

Instead of driving straight home, our duo decides to find a dump of a hotel 20 miles from the airport. What’s up with that? If you are so desperate to get home for Thanksgiving, why do you need to have a good night’s sleep? I thought you wanted to get home ASAP! A savvy traveler would sleep on the airport floor near his gate to make sure he boards the first flight in the morning. 

The next morning, after a bunch of other ordeals, Neal and Del arrive in St. Louis. Stop right there. First of all, there are at least three trains from St. Louis to Chicago every day. Trains don’t get overbooked; they add another passenger car. Secondly, taking a cab to downtown St. Louis, renting a car, and driving home only takes four hours. Would it have been so crazy to make a deal with a cab driver for a $300 ride home from St. Louis? His wife, home at the three-million-dollar house, could have paid for that when he arrived. However, they got the Chrysler LeBaron and tried to drive home, but for those of us who have watched the movie, we all know how poorly that turned out. Thirdly, once again, they seek a good night’s sleep. They are less than four hours from Chicago, and they still stop to find a motel. When you’re traveling and must get home, you keep moving; you don’t hang around in motels, getting a good night’s sleep. 

After sitting in an ice-cold trailer truck, they finally—thank goodness—manage to arrive in Chicago, where I would think Neal would be so anxious to get home that he would spring for a cab. But no, he takes the commuter train home and gets there at what we assume is Thanksgiving afternoon. Jeez. I get it, suspending reality for the sake of a few laughs in a very funny movie. However, what really struck me was the changes in technology. 

For example, what would this story be like if cellphones were as prevalent as they are in today’s society? How would the movie have changed with the ability to hail an Uber or Lyft, or rent a car with a device in your pocket? What if Neal used a flight-tracking app on his cellphone, where he could check on alternate flights and book a ticket? Nowadays, we can find hotels and motels easily from our phones. Compare that to the late ‘80s. Life is so much easier now that you think about it.  

There is one more thing. In these COVID-19 days, and even in the upcoming post-COVID-19 days, I don’t anticipate that anyone will fly from Chicago to New York for what I assumed was a two-hour meeting. They would schedule a Zoom call and get it done.  

Think about that for a minute. $500 for a round-trip, first-class ticket. $200 for a hotel for one night in NYC. $200 for meals. $100 for miscellaneous expenses. That’s a cool grand right there, never mind the time lost and all the pain and aggravation. 

The meeting could have easily been accomplished with an hour-long Zoom call for a few pennies. Neal could have gone on with the rest of his schedule and been that much more productive, never mind getting home early enough to fully enjoy his Thanksgiving. It’s a big difference from what we are doing today and in the near future. This is the new normal. 

“Planes, Trains, and Automobiles.” Man, I love that movie! I can’t wait to see it again next year.  

It’s only common sense. 

Dan Beaulieu is president of D.B. Management Group.